I am sorry I have been such a downer today
I am sorry that I still have a bad bone in my body when my survival instinct kicks in
I am sorry I have been a burden these past few months
I am sorry that I am not taking care of my adik-adik like I promised myself to
I am sorry that you guys have to take care of them now
I am sorry if I have not been appreciative enough
I am sorry I had dragged you guys in my problems
I am sorry that I lied and say I was feeling okay when I wasn't
I am sorry for demanding your time and attention
I am sorry that I have sometimes put unfair expectations on you guys
I am sorry that I let petty things affect me too much
I am sorry I have such potential but a let down nowadays
I am sorry for not trying harder sooner
I am sorry that I even thought of ending my life a couple of times
I am sorry that I have mentioned it to you guys a couple of times
I am sorry I can't function on my own
I am sorry that I don't know what to do now
I am sorry that I don't feel I am strong enough now
I am sorry for thinking of giving up
I am sorry I can't do it more
Know that I always love you guys
I don't mean to hurt you guys
I don't mean to abandon you guys
And I can't thank you guys enough for all the love and support that you had given me
I don't know what I did to deserve all of that
I am sorry
IdaXu
January 17th, 2019