Poetry : Forever?

To the same 2001 guy. It’s self explanatory.  Wish him well as always :D

Forever?

By IdaXu Rais

I’ve poked and prodded the logic

which were never there.

Dived deep into your explanations

till I was helplessly drowning

endlessly trying to fit the 500 pieces jigsaw puzzle

of our memories.

Where did we go wrong?

My brain refused to digest it.

My heart doesn’t want to.

But crystal, you never loved me

Contradiction.

Expiration.

Confusion.

I wish,

I can eradicate you entire existence

and banish you

from my kingdom of dreams.

Will you comprehend?

I hope,

I can burn you to ashes till merely dust

in the hell of my burning anger,

or simply condemned you

into a deep, deep pit.

And if you scream,

all you can hear

are the perpetual echoes of my pain.

Will you see daylight?

maybe if I,

tear your body limb by limb

and feed it to the angry hungry condors

I’ll enjoy the uncertain rhythm

the crack and the crunch

of your bones

as the vultures dine you through.

Will you understand?

Perhaps I’ll even sell my soul

to the Devil.

Live my immortal life

as the creature of the night

sink my fangs into your thick neck

draining the life out of you

and make you taste mine

Alas, you’ll understand

what forever really means

We’ll consolidate

and terror the vermins

FOREVER…

Poetry : Contrived love?

This is for the same guy back in 2001. We parted in good terms. Called the quits with him because he said I was too much for him (trying to forget why, but it kind of stuck in my brain). I was bitter, wrote poems & let it go. Oh well, what can't kill me makes me stronger.

Contrived love?

By IdaXu Rais

6 am

over the line

you didn’t sound so contrite

Tell me,

did love mutate into hate?

to me it just seem to evaporate

that happens when we miss communicate

and the mirage began to fade

… the your truth began to hit me

your words suffocates me

your lies asphyxiates  me

my memories betrays me

Truth?

Or it is just another vindication

an excuse to save your ego

Male-ego

And their contrived love.

Reached up to look up a few words in my dictionary ( I know I wrote it but I don’t say contrived & contrite in daily basis, hrm, maybe I should)

(psst..the guy saying these words sound soo sexy, don’t you think?)

Poetry : When you're not here

This is a poem I wrote somewhere in 2001 for a guy I used to date hang out with (never were boyfriend-girlfriend). He was accepted to continue his studies outside KL (I don’t remember where). He’s happily married now and we parted in good terms (you know who you are, but then again I don’t expect him to read this).

When You’re Not Here 
By IdaXu Rais

I hate the beautiful enchanting moonlight

because you’re not here

to watch it with me

I loathe the sweet cold breeze

because you’re not here

to wrap your arms around me

I despise the soft verdant grass

because you’re not here

to lay beside me

And I’m sick of those harmonic night crickets

because you’re not here

to chase them with me

but I praised The Creator

Allah the Al-Mighty

because He made our path crossed

for you and me…

miss you when you’re not here

Why start this blog?

me!

Promise this would be my longest entry. Will keep everything else short and easy on the eyes. Any longer it will put even me to sleep. So here goes,

Self-serving but not self absorbed

When I do clean up (rare occasion) I have encountered my old notes (yes, I’m a step away from being a hoarder), things I wrote years ago

   ·         to help me study and understand things

   ·         to remember things better for school exam

·         notes to myself based on own experiences or other people’s (things I should do and shouldn’t do when I reached a certain point of my life)

·         poems for my childhood crushes

·         poems from my childhood crushes

·         scribbles etc

Looking through all these, I felt not only too sentimental to throw a way (thus, the huge pile of notes that I have around the house and also in the office) but these are the things that I would love to still remember. Keeping ALL the notes would be disastrous and some day hazardous to my health, so I need a place where the space is unlimited. Where else but the virtual world, right?

Getting the hang of writing

 I have all these ideas but it has been very difficult for me to put them down in words. I am a bookworm and as I venture from one bookstores to another, I find it very difficult for me to find reading materials that would suit my need and what I would’ve love read when I was younger (I’m 16 now, that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it ;p)

            So this is me trying to write the kind of things I would love to read about (minus the pictures because I can’t draw a proper cat even if my life depends on it)

Learn new things from other people who read this

You are most welcome to read my blog (not holding my breath for this) and share your ideas and point of views. The internet is an amazing tool for all of us, don’t you think so? Heck, the first thing I do to understand about caring for my cats is from Google J.

 I’m a believer of ‘let’s agree to disagree’ and if I see/hear something I don’t like, I’ll stop reading/listening rather than bitterly argue who is better than the other so on and so forth. Taste is a matter of preference, right? If everyone likes the same thing, there’s no variety in life. Everyone eats the same thing, listen to the same music, reads the same stuff..yada yada yada, you get my drift?

               

I hope by listing down my reasons as my first entry would keep me in check and I would not evolve into a narcissist who writes or bitch complaint about everything, boo hoo. Bill Gates said, “Life is unfair, get over it.” And I’m doing my best to get over it. Chaiyok IdaXu!

Hugs, kisses and cookies,

IdaXu

p/s : Oh yeah, Curious Chombie is not in any way related to Curious George but I love what George is doing, making learning fun for all of us. Keep up the good work George!