Monday, 27 June 2011

Poetry : Forever?

To the same 2001 guy. It’s self explanatory.  Wish him well as always :D

Forever?
By IdaXu Rais

I’ve poked and prodded the logic
which were never there.
Dived deep into your explanations
till I was helplessly drowning
endlessly trying to fit the 500 pieces jigsaw puzzle
of our memories.
Where did we go wrong?

My brain refused to digest it.
My heart doesn’t want to.
But crystal, you never loved me

Contradiction.
Expiration.
Confusion.

I wish,
I can eradicate you entire existence
and banish you
from my kingdom of dreams.
Will you comprehend?

I hope,
I can burn you to ashes till merely dust
in the hell of my burning anger,
or simply condemned you
into a deep, deep pit.
And if you scream,
all you can hear
are the perpetual echoes of my pain.
Will you see daylight?

maybe if I,
tear your body limb by limb
and feed it to the angry hungry condors
I’ll enjoy the uncertain rhythm
the crack and the crunch
of your bones
as the vultures dine you through.
Will you understand?

Perhaps I’ll even sell my soul
to the Devil.
Live my immortal life
as the creature of the night
sink my fangs into your thick neck
draining the life out of you
and make you taste mine

Alas, you’ll understand
what forever really means
We’ll consolidate
and terror the vermins
FOREVER…

Saturday, 25 June 2011

Poetry : Contrived love?

This is for the same guy back in 2001. We parted in good terms. Called the quits with him because he said I was too much for him (trying to forget why, but it kind of stuck in my brain). I was bitter, wrote poems & let it go. Oh well, what can't kill me makes me stronger.

Contrived love?
By IdaXu Rais

6 am
over the line
you didn’t sound so contrite

Tell me,
did love mutate into hate?
to me it just seem to evaporate
that happens when we miss communicate
and the mirage began to fade

… the your truth began to hit me
your words suffocates me
your lies asphyxiates  me
my memories betrays me

Truth?
Or it is just another vindication
an excuse to save your ego
Male-ego
And their contrived love.


Reached up to look up a few words in my dictionary ( I know I wrote it but I don’t say contrived & contrite in daily basis, hrm, maybe I should)

(psst..the guy saying these words sound soo sexy, don’t you think?)

Friday, 17 June 2011

Poetry : When you're not here

This is a poem I wrote somewhere in 2001 for a guy I used to date hang out with (never were boyfriend-girlfriend). He was accepted to continue his studies outside KL (I don’t remember where). He’s happily married now and we parted in good terms (you know who you are, but then again I don’t expect him to read this).

When You’re Not Here 
By IdaXu Rais

I hate the beautiful enchanting moonlight
because you’re not here
to watch it with me

I loathe the sweet cold breeze
because you’re not here
to wrap your arms around me

I despise the soft verdant grass
because you’re not here
to lay beside me

And I’m sick of those harmonic night crickets
because you’re not here
to chase them with me

but I praised The Creator
Allah the Al-Mighty
because He made our path crossed
for you and me…

miss you when you’re not here

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Why start this blog?

me!
Promise this would be my longest entry. Will keep everything else short and easy on the eyes. Any longer it will put even me to sleep. So here goes,

Self-serving but not self absorbed
When I do clean up (rare occasion) I have encountered my old notes (yes, I’m a step away from being a hoarder), things I wrote years ago
   ·         to help me study and understand things
   ·         to remember things better for school exam
·         notes to myself based on own experiences or other people’s (things I should do and shouldn’t do when I reached a certain point of my life)
·         poems for my childhood crushes
·         poems from my childhood crushes
·         scribbles etc

Looking through all these, I felt not only too sentimental to throw a way (thus, the huge pile of notes that I have around the house and also in the office) but these are the things that I would love to still remember. Keeping ALL the notes would be disastrous and some day hazardous to my health, so I need a place where the space is unlimited. Where else but the virtual world, right?

Getting the hang of writing
 I have all these ideas but it has been very difficult for me to put them down in words. I am a bookworm and as I venture from one bookstores to another, I find it very difficult for me to find reading materials that would suit my need and what I would’ve love read when I was younger (I’m 16 now, that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it ;p)
            So this is me trying to write the kind of things I would love to read about (minus the pictures because I can’t draw a proper cat even if my life depends on it)

Learn new things from other people who read this
You are most welcome to read my blog (not holding my breath for this) and share your ideas and point of views. The internet is an amazing tool for all of us, don’t you think so? Heck, the first thing I do to understand about caring for my cats is from Google J.
 I’m a believer of ‘let’s agree to disagree’ and if I see/hear something I don’t like, I’ll stop reading/listening rather than bitterly argue who is better than the other so on and so forth. Taste is a matter of preference, right? If everyone likes the same thing, there’s no variety in life. Everyone eats the same thing, listen to the same music, reads the same stuff..yada yada yada, you get my drift?
               
I hope by listing down my reasons as my first entry would keep me in check and I would not evolve into a narcissist who writes or bitch complaint about everything, boo hoo. Bill Gates said, “Life is unfair, get over it.” And I’m doing my best to get over it. Chaiyok IdaXu!

Hugs, kisses and cookies,
IdaXu

p/s : Oh yeah, Curious Chombie is not in any way related to Curious George but I love what George is doing, making learning fun for all of us. Keep up the good work George!